Vesna’s lockdown poetry
A Not So Neighbourly Affray
My attention is alerted to a shrill shriek meow a not so neighbourly affray, observed through my window is taking place. Two neighbouring cats in an apparent stand-off, their in a dual over territory as they continue to vocalise their contempt for one-another. On the path they both hold fast with a gripping stare. Less than inches apart with a determined fixed glare as the tension mounts. Neither will give ground as they remain transfixed.
Black Cat boy I’m familiar with as he lives adjacent to my front door, a regular visitor confidant in his stride he regularly parades his dominance as he struts up and down the paths taking up his position in my back garden. He lets me know he can do what he chooses. Poised but menacing, his tail raised wafts, as both hold their stance . Grey bushy short tailed cat, recoiled holds fast, as black cat retains his menacing glare he will not back away. Grey short bushy tailed cat I’ve seen him before his beautiful long coat and friendly demeanour often sits calmly in a neighbouring front garden. His piercing blue eyes, short bobtail, never any sign of being a bully, just takes life in his stride, as his age has passed him by, holds back from black cat inches apart, subordinate to his challenger seemingly unable to move.
Both hold their positions defending their pride as I open my widow from above black cat perhaps now aware of my presence turns his head up towards me, as I call out to disrupt his intentions as if to confirm he’s aware of his mischievous ways but for a moment holds his challenge. Grey short bobtail bushy cat, for a second slowly averts his gaze as he turns his head, his body slowly rotates the stand-off is over as he retreats away under the fence to seek refuge in my garden on the path,taking time to reclaim and find his poise before moving off, he’s out of sight.
Black cat has succumbed and retreats, black cat glances back as if to suggest this stand-off will resume some other-day setting down that he’s top dog as if you need to be reminded of that it’s a not so neighbourly affray.
Autumn Poem
Autumn your a cacophony of colour
Your Aurora of Light shades
that flicker burn bright.
Blushing Reds Warm Brown tones
Golden shades on Green
Mellow yellows
Immerse my soul
In your understated beauty
I feel moved.
Autumn as you lay
Your patchwork of leaves in colour
Soft underfoot
You entice the ballet within
To romance on your
Splendour
Crisp cool Air
Sun that taunts
Vivid, spectacular skies parade
More somber colours
Your contrast unequivocal
Still humbled by your greatness
You inspire.
A Christmas Like no other
The World has been in crisis as war and disease have escalated
Lives have been lost and blighted
Once happy homes have suffered food shortage
Jobs and security have faltered
Doors once opened and inviting have brought down their shutters.
A Christmas like no other.
Those who take control prepared to exploit it
A world that is increasingly segregated
Universal charity towards others admonished
Governments waging war on their people to suffocate voices.
Destruction of the worlds natural resources.
Advancing Tidal waves and seas rising, as forests burn for short term gains.
Foolish greed where there are no winners but losers.
What will be left for the next generation of children
The truth is Santa can’t fix it. So teach them wisely to keep their eyes on the prize of Life, presents won’t make up for it share your wisdom share your truth strive for a better world.
Children understand we can be modest in our demands and there’s no greater pride than consideration for others to unite the world.
This is a Christmas like no other.
We can put up the tree make it sparkle and glint sit back for a moment
As we think of what has passed and will become of the future, so be humble
In your expectation this year as we all tuck into our Christmas fare, open our presents and be surrounded by those we love. So remember to spare a thought for others that have little, those that have lost those that grieve those that sit alone those that dream.
This is a Christmas like no other.
Let’s honour those who have given of their selves to save lives, been there to wipe their brow given solace as life passes by.
Held a hand when there where no others.
For all who share their companionship to make lives better in lonely times
We cherish your kindness and honour you with pride and thank you for all the times you have shared.
Now it is your time so be reassured everyone of us wishes you the very best.
That you have the opportunity of being together with someone who cares.
As we wish you our blessing a thousand times.
Fill your soul with happy moments
Share in our desire for better times that we collectively can strengthen bonds in our communities and across the world in these unprecedented times.
Let us all strive to be better citizens of our shared world and encourage this thought in others to be our children’s role models if only to save the next generation.
This is a Christmas like no other.
A Dedication Poem to Kaleidoscope Cafe, Age Exchange
I dedicate my gratitude to each and everyone, to those that give of themselves and those that receive.
Perhaps you may not realise what it is that you have given, so I will take this opportunity to express my feelings and explain in my own words the driving force felt, to put down in word.
You have been the face of joy and laughter
Changed lives to make more rewarding,
Inspired where there was lack of inspiration
Changed paths where there was no direction
Given hope we’re hope was lost
When all about grief and all about confusion
You have cleared a path.
When getting adjusted to this new unknown Soul!
Dementia.
You have removed the fear and made him a friend.
Given me the tools to befriend and look beyond.
Befriended us when we’ve needed it most been a listening ear through your generosity and fervour.
Taken a flower and made it blossom.
Through lockdown 1 and Lockdown 2
You’ve seen us through with your boxes of humour and joy, you have filled my emptiness and filled my days with endless possibilities, for that I am grateful so you know.
I can only hope you are extremely proud and that life rewards you a thousand times, that your deeds are not unnoticed or unspoken that you know now that you are by far valued and so so appreciated.
Destruction
Mother you have decided that you wish to take leave of this life and your time will soon come to pass. Your battle with life will cease as it is at an age now where old bones are frail and in your conscious mind you have caught up with time, no longer to hold your soul upright.
Your decision to slip away from the light leaves lives you created, abandoned, confused and conflicted.
That’s not to say we don’t care and a child’s love is a remarkable thing; into adulthood they remain loyal to the end, able to set aside the memories of loss and pain at the hands of a destructive mother who fled away from her motherly loyalty, not to stand by those she would bore.
Endless opportunities were missed, to forge a bond and connect, but choices made evoked the presence of mind that once stood in your wake . Unfortunate casualties resurfaced for love, never to be truly accepted as one of yours. How sad this was! As broken hearts surrendered to the knowledge the destruction would continue to the bitter end. But a child’s love for its mother is endless regardless of tragic circumstances; you would simply not understand the privilege in bearing a child .
Those lives will remain the sadnesses embedded evocative in their early prime and will continue to seek to break the cycle like fractured glass. We all hold onto what remains and retain those bonds which were severed in their prime, reversing the destruction to our hearts and mind.
Haiku Poetry
Discombobulated I sat
Chair at the desk
Adrift black mist
Draws me to past.
Familiarity estranged
Overwhelmed
My story shared
Comfort felt
missing friends
Hopes dashed
Meandering thoughts
Belonging to me
A part of you.
Summer Haiku
Summer Day on the beach.
Youthful exuberance
Breeze filled day
On the beach
Sun shows its face
Warriors at sea
Nerves of steel
Ride the waves.
Brave souls Resilient, strong
iron fists
Comrades in arms
Punch the air
Shrill excitement
Hours go by
Wind sleeps
Sunset breaks
Memories for another day.
Inside Out Poem
Outside I’m a deer in the headlights willing myself to take flight! back to the comfort of a quiet space, where I feel safe.
But inside I’m a light as my thoughts flicker one to another! back and forth bouncing from one to another trying hard to focus on happier moments not from past but present.
Outside I’m a person of many who knows? What each of us carry, as life’s joys and sorrows we bear in honour.
But inside I’m a rolling marble bouncing off the walls, glancing through my windows in the hope I’ll see you coming.
Outside I’m a stranger to the world I used to know.
But inside I’m a loner now wishing to belong so I spend my days finding myself trying something new.
And sometimes I’m just Inside Out!
Illusions
I thought I saw a bear in the clouds
but when I looked up again
it had taken off in its stride
Only to be replaced by a crocodile
Obscured behind the trees silhouettes
its stealthiness deceives.
When my gaze returned
it had disappeared.
Next I saw mountain peaks trees and
valleys upon high
Landscapes mounted upon blue and grey
as daylight withered
and night sky lay.
I walk at dusk to clear my head
absorb the nights reverence breath it’s Air
if only to give me a different perspective.
Dusk has receded the night Laid.
I walk alone to leave the trees silhouettes,
to bear witness to what remains.
As I leave the nightfall runners, dog walkers, passers bye.
I walk alone.
Farewell to the night sky
and the illusions of the night.
As I return home to the safety of my four walls.
Jack Frost
Window onto my street Jack Frost you’ve arrived today,
surely a sign you're hear to stay.
Shall I put on another layer or let you
test my armour and metal.
Jack Frost the irony is, the thought of stepping outside so you can greet me makes my body shiver and quiver
But my eyes can see hope is just around the corner, as the morning sun on your back shines and your dappled diamonds a rough edge to walk upon invites the skater.
Jack Frost as you blanket-the streets parked cars you change the appearance of rooftop homes, stretching as far as the eye can see, a reminder a new season is hear where hope will be renewed so we can all return to those lost ways in which we lived before.
Rain
Rain you mirror my soul
Like a bucket full that overflows
Letting go you shower the untold
The irony is my heart like a sponge
Will eventually run dry holding onto what it’s
Unable to reveal.
Rain I want to run barefoot through your street be immersed in you to cleanse my heart
Bring that sparkle and glint
Be confidant in me.
Rain step inside with me I’m alone today restore my faith
Let me feel-quenched by your stream
Revive my thirst give me new life
Help me dream of what’s to come.
Rain can I share with you my
Loneliness If I could talk to you and you could listen
You would know my thoughts and passions
What it is I may desire
Give my heart that glint and sparkle
Shower me with the love I desire be my companion through lonely hours.
Rollercoaster
One day I’m up high the next I’m down
There are days when I bask in life
There are days when I come to an abrupt end where I find no strength to rise up high,
As I plummet helplessly to the ground from high.
There’s a rollercoaster in my mind.
Light forces Dark forces interchange
Circle round and round
Extremes of Day extremes of Night
Sleepless times, where my mind takes flight.
Where I retrace the enigma which has become my life.
There are silent screams, deep felt pain
Reflected in my thoughts, which spiral out of control, my only desire is to put on the brakes.
As the rollercoaster in my mind pervades.
I’m saved when a new day dawns and the rollercoaster in my mind is switched off only to return at an unspecified time.
Perhaps today I can remain up high where light prevails and my butterfly appears, in full colour.
But I’m afraid my rollercoaster endlessly reappears as it’s my enigma, a symbiotic, unwelcome friend, who makes it all too clear he’s here to remain.
So the rollercoaster is a consistent but reluctant companion in my mind.
Guest for Sleepover
I am at peace today as my star-boy is staying
Long into sleep he silently floats beside me.
In the early morning hours I can feel his touch.
As not to awaken him I roll over to make space.
My gaze flows over him, his reflection a solid mass of handsomeness.
I’m comforted by his presence even if he’s enveloped the space where I would have laid my head.
My weary body contorted as I lay, tries to find comfort in the tiniest of spaces.
Nose buttoned up by the edge of my Bed.
Limbs battened down to retain my repose,
I watch him breath his silent breaths knowing he’s secure in his place and his love, and what he brings to me is far greater than he will ever know.
His beating heart resounds through mine.
Familiar Journeys
Spring was lost in the chaos of unfamiliarity. New Semantics became the new norm.
We took notice of numbers that previously would have escaped our attention
But reinforced our vulnerability as mankind
Which raised our level of consciousness about our world, our part in it, how we lived
That put us on an equal footing having to share with one another the same rights and wrongs!
No order of priority, humanity became one.
The need to save souls, a new mantra began.
Isolation left us with memories replaced by the solitude of being estranged.
That flower that had survived the drought would slowly emerge bold and strong
Determined to live once again escaping its own inevitabilty it could now relax and bloom again summer had come.
Summer
Summer's end was fast approaching and a hastily but welcome journey is arranged.
We're off to sunny Dorset. We'll see green fields, sheep and cows, familiar monuments from ancient times but most of all it's the aesthetic beauty of the countryside that will change our demeanour as we breathe fresh air, heading for the coast and crystal blue seas, longing to squeeze the sand through our toes, bury our bodies in the sand, leap into frosty waters of the Atlantic Sea, thrash about to warm ourselves as we brave the waves confidently with no fear!
So we can relive those memories of past as I had once journeyed in the car with you as my child.
It's a comfort knowing you hold on to those memories reliving your past as we re-enact seaside journeys in our car, the standing joke as Nan calls out: "Look at those beautiful mustard fields!" What a stunning landscape as the grandchildren begin to imitate me, just as I begin the sentence! Laughing out loud! The car is full to the brim, a hive of frivolity and laughter, a reassuring air of expectancy.
You see it's those reciprocal exchanges of glances
Those nestling feathers that keep me warm
Your touches that reassure me I'm fulfilled and adored.
A feeling of normalcy that we can laugh at Nan who is trying to inspire those young minds
But that's alright, it's just Nan we can humour even if she does repeat the same words over and over again! I can join in the fun and laugh with the cast and feel proud that one day they will repeat what's past.
An Encroaching Voyeur
Late into the night I’ve not made it to my bed
As I’m awoken from drifting sleep
On my sofa I’m disturbed by the sound of howling wind
Lapping and flapping around my windows
It’s dark, foreboding, violent and encroaching
It's verbosity disturbing resounds deep within
As if to stir sleeping screams.
I begin to feel an anxious flutter, a cold chill radiates within, and through me
Its wild rage desires to consume me, alone with no defences but my own loneliness.
Is this my unwelcome visitor an encroaching voyeur arrived to haunt me.
Too much time to contemplate this week, as days drift unnoticed one to another
Night and day merge with no separation
As my companion becomes the food I indulge and perhaps my favourite tipple but it’s my nemesis here to haunt and enslave me, a cruel irony, friendship masked here to delude me in a strange but perverse twist.
Like the grip of the howling winds it’s consuming me as I try to resist its tempestuous grip.
Is this my unwelcome visitor an encroaching voyeur come to haunt me.
I sleep a restless sleep as the night eludes, hours drifting elusively through, one to another, a surface
Sleep, Time and thoughts an uneasy alliance are laid to rest as an eventual sleep, like the howling winds, takes its place.
Mother! Nature! Air!
I breathe, its life giving force is no more, as it’s replaced by a snake you cannot see.
This is my unwelcome visitor an encroaching voyeur comes back to haunt me
More than I’d wish.
Testimony
Testimony unearthed. Perhaps you could say my verse is a kaleidoscope of thought, not colour as you would anticipate when you peruse the pages.
It’s harsh and gritty when you read it I fear when written down in black and white, but I can’t help feeling the way I do! so no apologies it’s me !it’s my truth speaking out loud.
People have found me complex to read an enigma where self expression was void to protect my truth, and my feelings withheld to navigate what was missing avoidance became my tribe, as I struggled to find identity. It’s now prolific, evocative a powerful explosion of truth Thoughts are leaping out of my mind without restraint as my voice emerges from the dark. A relief at last I can speak out loud to celebrate the years of restraint without a voice, unheard as my testimony becomes unearthed and uncomfortable as it may seem the genie is out! Wait there’s a reprieve as yet more is to be revealed as I now direct my own testimony of life in verse with the absence of apology this is my freedom in verse.